I am here now

I am not 100% sure I ever imagined being a yoga teacher when I was a kid but it is certainly possible it crossed my mind. I was born to daydream. I wanted to be a detective, a writer, a model, a singer, a lawyer, a librarian. My imagination is a big, beautiful, sunny field with lots of room to run around. As I got older, some of that space began to darken, and fill with worries, anxieties, reruns of conversations, scripts of conversations that had yet to happen, making less room to play. I would often get decision paralysis because I could immediately access everything that might potentially go wrong. I floated through my early adult years, unable to commit or root down to much; I knew I had an energy that had to be expressed yet couldn’t find the vehicle. Eventually I drifted into a yoga studio, and then a few more studios over the years, and after some time I found my practice began to take shape. I still got lost in thoughts yet could easily return to the present. Once I became mindful of my breath, my mind finally connected with my body in the present and I could make decisions with a lucidness that seemed almost illegal for me to possess. Without the tethers of the past and the uncertainty of the future, saying yes was exciting and saying no meant I was valuing myself and upholding a boundary. This confidence and clarity led me to teaching yoga, a role that feels so absolutely right in my mind, body, and spirit. My imagination informs my teaching without taking me out of the moment.

Teaching is a practice in presence. It is a job that is never completed, no metrics to fulfill, no goals to meet, and that is the beauty of it. The only requirement is providing students with a space to be present, which begins with me being present. I cannot control the outcome of the class; everyone will leave with their own piece that they have chosen for themselves. I love this aspect of teaching and it has given me the room to play, to try, to goof up, to laugh, to offer a different perspective.

I am excited for my journey as a teacher to evolve over time and will allow this to happen organically, without force and without design. My one concrete desire is to eventually incorporate traveling, whether it be guest teaching at studios and/or hosting retreats. That’s the sun-filled side of my imagination and I am happy to play there.